Desire

Yesterday I spent a lovely afternoon visiting my sister.

As I hadn’t been able to visit her in a while, I hadn’t seen her lovely Ellowyne dolls yet, so I was in for a treat.

Now, if you’ve never seen Ellowyne dolls before, let me tell you, these are quite extraordinary. They have character. They have individuality. They have attitude Attitude.

Photo by Nicolette

Contrary to my sister, who is very much into fashion dolls, I don’t care much for most dolls. Sure, I like to look at her – rather impressive – collection of Daisy’s. I enjoy looking at her Pippa’s and other dollies, but never have I felt any desire to own such a doll. Not since I was a wispy teenage girl.

Yesterday, however, admiring my sister’s Ellowyne dolls, holding them in my hands, I could just see myself owning one of these dolls. Just one, mind. I’d buy myself a bald-headed Ellowyne (she’s probably come with a wig, but I’d take that off) and turn her into a real badass dollie. Because, surely, she wouldn’t have to be all nice and gorgeous like my sister’s dollies now, would she?

Back home I spent all evening browsing Ebay for Ellowyne dolls. But blimey those dolls are pricey! Then again, I could save up some a lot of money and then buy one. After the loft conversion is complete, obviously. Actually, after the entire house has had a complete makeover, which could easily take a couple of years. But I’m patient. I can wait for just the right time to buy myself an Ellowyne. I can even wait for the perfect Ellowyne to come my way. there’s no rush.

And yet.

Something felt not quite right. There was that little voice – barely audible – in the back of my mind. Nagging. I ignored that voice until I woke up this morning, but then it was crystal clear to me.

I was definitely not going to get myself an Ellowyne doll. Not because they’re expensive. I know how to save up money so I can buy expensive things if I really want to.

No, it was something else entirely.

I do not need an Ellowyne doll. Up until yesterday I was perfectly happy without one, and there’s absolutely no reason why I can’t continue to be perfectly happy without owning such an absolutely adorable little lady.

I’m aiming for minimalism, and I’m hardly going to achieve that by buying more stuff – however gorgeous – to fill my home with. Over the last couple of months (has it been half a year already?) I’ve been doing so well in getting rid of things. Why should I give up my dream of a peaceful, uncluttered home now?

Strangely, or maybe not so strange at all, once I got the Ellowyne dilemma sorted, I felt so much better. I worked in the loft again for most of the day, and felt as happy as I could be.

The desire was gone. Just like that.

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About Liam

Poet, writer, aspiring minimalist
This entry was posted in Minimalism. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Desire

  1. Susan says:

    I am glad to hear it works. I'm trying!

    Like

  2. Leah says:

    Mad crushes! That's exactly what they are. Thankfully I don't have to deal with them very often anymore. It's as if owning less has diminished my appetite for buying/owning new stuff quite a bit.

    Like

  3. Susan says:

    I completely understand your feelings….I have mad crushes and if I just leave the thought alone it sorts itself out. Hang on to the dream of having a peaceful uncluttered house. That is worth more than any doll or any other stuff for that matter. Well done for resisting!

    Like

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